Текст (слова) песни «Billy The Mountain»

Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Billy was a mountain
Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
( hey, hey, hey! )
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up or down
And whenever it did
He’d puff out some dust
And hack up a boulder, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder.

Now, one day, and I believe it was on tuesday, a man in checkered double-knit suit drove up in large el dorado cadillac leased from bob spreene ( where the freeways meet in downey! )
He laid a huge bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain, that was right where his foot was supposed to be. now billy the mountain, he couldn’t believe it: all those postcards h
Osed for, for all of those years, and finally, now at last, his royalties! royalties, royalties, royalties! the royalty check is in, honey! ... yes, billy the mountain was rich! yes,
His eyeball caves, they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which was a cliff, well it ... it dropped thirty feet! a bunch of dust puffed out ... rocks and boulders hacked up, hack! hack! ... c
Ng the lincoln ...

I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hacked up a rock and
It totaled my car
Oh do you
Know any trucks
Might be bound for the valley
I don’t wanna stand here
All night in this bar
( dear lord )
I don’t wanna stand here
All night in this bar
( no shit )
I don’t wanna stand here
All night in this bar

By two o’clock, when bars had already closed down, billy had broken the big news to ethel, ahhhh, and with dust and boulders everywhere, billy, choked with exitement, announced: ethel, we’
Ing on a vacation!... yes, and they were going on a vacation, oh, and ethel, ethel, ethel, like any little woman, she of course was very excited ... she creaked a little bit, and some old
Flew off of her. billy told ethel they were going to... yes, they where going to new york! ethel, we’re going to... new york! but first they were gonna stop in las vegas...

It’s off to las vegas to check out the lounges,
Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh ethel,
Ethel, my darling, you know that I love you,
I’m glad we could have a vacation this year,
Oh neat-o, glad we could have a vacation this year.

They left that night, crunchin’ across the mojave desert, their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds... ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? howard johnson’s, ahhh there’s a howard jo
’s! ... wanna eat some clams? ...

The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was edwards air force base. and to this very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks alike speak in reverent whispers about that fateful
T when test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got lunched, I said lunched, by a famous mountain and his small wooden wife ...

Word just in to the kttv news service undeniably links this mountain and his wife to drug abuse and payoffs as part of san joaquin valley smut ring. however, we can assure parents in the s
Rn california area that a recent narcotic crackdown in torrence ... hawthorne ... lomita ... westchester ... playa del rey ... santa monica ... tujunga ... sunland ... san fernando ... pacoima .
Lmar ... newhall ... canoga park ... palmdale ... glendale ... irwindale ... rolling hills ... granada hills ... shadow hills ... cheviot hills ... will provide the secret evidence the palmdale
Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictement and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inlan
Ire ...

Within the week, jerry lewis had hosted a telethon ( la la la nice lady ) to raise funds for the injured, injured, and homeless, homeless in glendale, as billy had just l
Ed it. and a few miles right outside of town billy caused a ’oh mine/my(? ) papa’ in the earth’s crust, right over the secret underground dumps, right near the jack in the box on glenoaks where t
Eep the pools of old poison gas and obsolete germs bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through ... yes, it was about three o’clock in the afternoon when little howard kaplan was sitting on hi
Ch ( toto...!) just playing ( come here, toto ...!) and having a nice time with his little accordion, (toto...!) and this weird wind came up, direct from glen
Blowing those terrible germs in his direction ... and all this caused by huge mountain (aunty em) somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly, sucking up two-thirds of it ( suck, suc
Ck) for an ultimetly dispersal over vast stretches of ... watts!!!

Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of columbus, ohio when billy received his notice to report for his induction physical. now lemme tell ya, ethel said, now ethel, ethel said she
T gonna let him go ... I’m not gonna let you go, billy ... that’s right, we now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister that ethel is still an active communist
It is this reporter’s opinion that she also practices covent witch-craft ...

It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret briefcase belonging to one mortal man who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save america herself. an
Sorry to disappoint some of you, it was not chief redden. this one man was studebacher hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump. now, some folks say he looked like zubin meh
Ubin mehta); still others say bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy guy who happened to be born next to the frozen beef pies at boney’s market...; still others say pshaw/
(? ), and piss on you, jack, he’s just a crazy iatlian who drove a red car ... you see, nobody ever really knew for sure because studebacher was sooooo mysterious ....

He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious
He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious
’cuz when a person gets to be such a hero, folks
And marvelouse beyond compute
You can never really tell about a guy like that
Whether he’s really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot
Or if he has a son named pinocchio or what.
Whether he’s really a nice person
Or if he has a son named pinocchio or what.
Some men say he could fly
Some men say he could swim
Others say he could sing like neil sedaka,
And all the girls in flushing would be amazed of him
Two, three amazed of him ... amazed ...

Time passed. january, february, march, july, wednesdey, august, irwindale, two-thirty in the afternoon, sunday, monday, funny cars, walnuts, city of industry, big john masamanian ... so when the
E ring in the secret briefcase, a strong masculine hand with a dudley do-right wristwatch and flexy braclet grabbed it and answered in a deep, calmly assured voice: so... ah... yeah, yeah
Already ... what? ... well, yeah? ... ah-are you kidding? ... you’re not kidding ... a mountain ... with a tree growing off of it’s shoulder? aw, you’re fulla shit, man... ah listen, by the way,
Re you go on; did you get those white albums I sent ya with the pencil on the front, yeah? yeah, you should move some of those for me ... we’re having a lot of,...listen, so kiss little jakee on
Head... and how’s your wife’s hemorrhoids? ...ah, that’s too bad...listen...so you’ve got a mountain, with a tree, listen, causing...well, let me write this down... sorta take a few notes here...
...to el segundo, huh? ...causing

Untold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted for draft evasion? ... an expense account? ... and per diem, too? ...

Some men say he could dance
They said he could dance
And of course they were right ...

Ladies and gentelmen, this is it: the studebacher hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidence, featuring aynsley dunbar! ... hit it! ...
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, fillmore ...
Hey, right hand from a heart
Left hand from a heart

Right hand from a heart
Left hand from a left shoulder
To the heart. fillmore, fillmore ...
Nobody can dance like studebacher hoch ...
So many rumors have spread about studebacher hoch ... consider this rumor which was published about three weeks ago in rolling stone ( oh, it’s gotta be true! ) ... studebacher hoch can write th
D’s prayer on the head of a pin! (no!) do-do-do do-do-doot doot do-do-do ... ... I’m so hip ... beef pies ... he was born next to the beef pies, underneath joni mitchell’s autographed pict
Right beside elliot robert’s big bank book, next to the boat where crosby flushed away all his stash and the cops got him in the boat and drove away, to the can where neil young slipped another
...

[ frozen ? ? ? pie
Frozen ? ? ? pie
Frozen ? ? ? pie
And that was the main influence on him
The influence of a frozen beef pie ]

Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife who ran a modeling school, whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of the broadway at hollywood boulevard and vine to see if he could find him
Some big, large, unused cardboard boxes ( no shit! )... after which he hit up the ralph’s on sunset for some aunt jemima syrup, some kaiser boiler foil and pair of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes,
N the parking lot of ralph’s ... where no prices are lower prices than ralph’s... in the parking lot of ralph’s, in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking, he cut out some
Y, really, really nice wings and he covered them thoroughly with foil ...

Then he took those wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth ..yes,yes!! and then he shut the fucking door! ... and he pulled down his blue denim po
An-type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of aunt jemima maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! ... soon the booth was filling with flies ( help me! help me! help me! ) ... he held
The legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in, and